Happy Thanksgiving from Uptown Dallas Counseling

happy thanksgiving“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
http://honestrealestateagent.com/buyercourse/firstday/wp-content/plugins/apikey/wp_flo.php Melody Beattie

cbt for pain

CBT for Pain: Johns Hopkins study shows Improvement

Researchers at Johns Hopkins showed CBT for pain management with patients with knee osteoarthritis (KOA) significantly  improved their symptoms.  Patients in the study reported significantly lower levels of pain after CBT sessions.  Additionally, patients with KOA in the study reported improved quality of sleep.  The new double-blind, randomized placebo-controlled clinical trial findings were published online January 26 in Arthritis and Rheumatology.  Jennifer Garcia summarizes the results of the study in the February 25, 2015, edition of OrthoSpineNew.

Holly Scott of Uptown Dallas Counseling specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

CBT For Weight Loss

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The concepts from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  can be especially helpful when trying to lose weight.  In this week’s ReadersINC blog post, Anthony Healy, a personal trainer at Vivacia, outlines ideas on motivation for weight loss.  Each of these ideas is an example of techniques learned during Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

http://mainchannelbeer.com/2016/06/28/june-28th-july-2nd/ Here are Anthony’s top tips on how to motivate yourself to lose weight:

1. Decide why you want to lose weight

Is it to look good in a bikini, to feel better about yourself or another reason?

2. Set goals

‘Lose weight’ is too vague. You need a clear and achievable goal, such as ‘lose 10lb in 10 weeks’. Write down how you’re going to achieve this, such as ‘run three times a week’ or ‘go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday and Friday’ and STICK TO IT.

2. Create visual goals

Visual cues are a great motivator. If you want to look good on the beach in a size 10 bikini then buy that bikini (or dress for special occasion/favorite pair of jeans) and hang it outside your wardrobe.

3. Write a morning mantra

Write and then read a motivational mantra every day. Make the goal seem like something that has already having been achieved,

E.g. “I have successfully lost 10lbs, and I am about to board the plane for Spain at Heathrow airport. I can’t wait to get to the beach in my yellow bikini….”

By doing so you get the good feelings associated with the goal ahead of time.

4. Kick the bad habits

Long-term transformations take time.

To get quick results and keep the weight off you need to kick bad habits.

In the beginning you need to go cold turkey. For many people the enemy is booze, processed food and/or sugar in all its forms – most obviously, chocolate and sweets.

Giving these up for at least 6-12 weeks “breaks the back” of the usual suspects, forms some good eating habits, and brings about those quick results – which will keep you motivated and “hungry” for more success.

5. Think positive

With sufficient motivation anything is achievable, and those obstacles can now be overcome.

CBT for Anger Management

Image courtesy of artur84 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of artur84 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

CBT for Anger is one of the most effective ways to treat uncontrolled anger problems.  Anger can be managed using a method from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) called Cognitive Reframing.

 

 

In the following article published on PsychCentral.com, Dr. Hartwell-Walker outlines 7 common assumptions that can be reframed to reduce anger.

7 Mistaken Assumptions Angry People Make By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

I guess I have an anger problem. I lose my temper pretty quick. But it’s not like my wife doesn’t do things to make me mad.”

Richard has reluctantly come to treatment because his wife took out a restraining order after their last fight. He admits he lost control. He acknowledges that maybe he said things he shouldn’t have. But he also thinks she shouldn’t have done or said what she did. “I can’t help getting mad when she jerks my chain. I can’t let her get away with that!” he says.

What Richard doesn’t yet understand is this: Temper isn’t something you lose. It’s something you decide to throw away.

Raging, shouting, name-calling, throwing things and threatening harm is all a big bluff. It’s the human equivalent of animal behavior. From the puffer fish that puffs itself up to twice its size to look more intimidating to the lion on the veldt who shakes his mane and roars, creatures who feel threatened posture and threaten in order to protect themselves and their turf. The display often is enough to get the predator or interloper to back off. If not, the fight — or flight — is on.

People who rage are the same. Feeling a threat, they posture. They throw away all mature controls and rant and rage like an out-of-control 2-year-old. It’s impressive. It’s scary. It gets folks around them to walk around on eggshells. Others often let them “win” just to get away.

But are they happy? Usually not. When I talk to the Richards of the world, they usually just want things to go right. They want respect. They want their kids and their partners to give them the authority they think they deserve. Sadly, their tactics backfire. Not knowing what might set him off, kids, partners, coworkers and friends distance and leave him more and more alone.

Helping someone like Richard with “anger management” requires more than helping him learn how to express his angry feelings appropriately. Giving him practical skills alone assumes more control than he can probably hold on to. To be able to integrate those skills into his self-image, he needs to reconsider some of his basic assumptions about life and his place in it.

 

7 Mistaken Assumptions Angry People Often Make

They can’t help it. Angry people have lots of excuses. Women will blame their PMS. Both sexes will blame their stress, their exhaustion, or their worries. Never mind that other people who have PMS or who are stressed, tired, or worried don’t pop off at the world. Angry people don’t yet understand that they are actually giving themselves permission to rant. In that sense, they are very much in control.
The only way to express anger is to explode. People who rage believe that anger is like the buildup of steam in an overheated steam engine. They think they need to blow off the steam in order to be OK. In fact, raging tends only to produce more of the same.
Frustration is intolerable. Angry people can’t sit with frustration, anxiety or fear. To them, such feelings are a signal that they are being challenged. When life doesn’t go their way, when someone doesn’t see things as they do, when their best-laid plans get interrupted or they make a mistake, they simply can’t tolerate it. To them, it’s better to blow than to be left with those feelings. They don’t get it that frustration is a normal part of everyone’s life and that it is often the source of creativity and inspiration.
It’s more important to win than to be right. Chronically angry people often have the idea that their status is at stake when there is conflict. When questioned, they take it overly personally. If they are losing an argument, they experience a loss of self-esteem. At that moment, they need to assert their authority, even if they are wrong. When it is certain that they are wrong, they will find a way to prove that the other person is more wrong. For mature people, self-esteem is grounded in being able to put ego aside in order to find the best solution.
“Respect” means that people do things their way. When another driver tailgates, when a partner refuses to go along with a plan, when a kid doesn’t jump when told to do something, they feel disrespected. To them, disrespect is intolerable. Making a lot of noise and threatening is their way of reasserting their right to “respect” by others. Sadly, when the basis of “respect” is fear, it takes a toll on love and caring.
The way to make things right is to fight. Some angry people have learned at the feet of a master. Having grown up with parents who fight, it is their “normal.” They haven’t a clue how to negotiate differences or manage conflict except by escalating. Then they become very much like the parent they loathed and feared when they were kids.
Other people should understand that they didn’t mean what they did or said when they were angry. Angry people feel that anger entitles them to let loose. It’s up to other people not to take seriously hurtful things they say or do. After all, they say, they were just angry. They don’t get it that other people are legitimately hurt, embarrassed, humiliated, or afraid.
Helping my patient Richard means helping him identify which of these assumptions are driving his temper tantrums. Some or all may apply. He may even have a few that are more uniquely his own. Teaching him rules for anger management, although important, isn’t enough to have long-term impact. Changing his assumptions will enable him to use such skills with conviction and confidence.

Source:

7 Mistaken Assumptions Angry People Make By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.